It was 2010 when I realized I really wanted to help people build their confidence. I knew I was on the right track when I heard my teenage mentee describe me as “confident” to someone else. Then in Spring 2018 I was asked to lead a 6-month, bi-weekly confidence group workshop as part of a business coach’s mastermind group.
So that then begged the question:
- What actually IS confidence?
- How do you get more of it?
- How do you be it?
I used to think confidence was all about being prepared. Meaning – being prepared by knowing exactly what you’re going to say or do. In some circumstances, like a play or a vocal performance, that means having your lines memorized. In a presentation or an interview, however, that means having a general awareness of what you plan to say, but not needing to have it all memorized word-for-word. Those are great, but I’ve since learned confidence goes even beyond THAT.
True confidence comes from a place of knowing who you are.
- You know that when you make a “mistake,” it’s still okay.
- You don’t get consumed by wondering what an audience is thinking about you.
- You don’t hate on yourself because you weren’t as “perfect” or “good” as someone else.
True confidence means you know that no matter what happens during your presentation, your vocal performance, your speech, etc. – that you are the “right” person to be delivering that message at that time. So however the message gets delivered, is always the best way.
Your confidence supercedes you before you walk up on stage and overrides any perceived flaws in your performance. You know that your true value is in the act of delivering the message – however it shows up.
I still believe in preparation; that helps you maximize whatever time you are allotted to present. But it’s who you choose to be and how much of your heart you put into your delivery, that is what the audience will take away.
Kim O’Neill is known for being the inspirational host of the Every Day is a New Day Show; a 2x bestselling author; twice-certified Transformational Confidence Coach; Interview Coach; Reiki Master; and former Crime Analyst. The “Every Day is a New Day” podcast and LIVE show has featured movers and shakers from the White House and national TV to awesome “everyday” people who’ve exhibited inspiring strength in overcoming their own adversities.
Kim takes a holistic approach in coaching empathic, heart-centered individuals out of self-doubt and disempowerment and into courageous confidence. In 2019, she co-authored the #1 bestseller You Are Loved – An Inspired, Meditative Visual Journey; in 2018, she launched her first guided meditation on the Insight Timer app; and in 2017, her blog was selected as one of Feedspot.com’s Top 100 Life Coach Websites and Blogs, and her first bestselling book Positive Minded People was published.
Kim is most often asked how she went from being a Crime Analyst to coaching and energy work and loves to empower people to be who they truly are. Visit KimONeillCoaching.com to learn more.
Listen to Kim and Mark here