Communication is a very vital part of existence. There has been literature describing how emotional intelligence and communication skills can result in more promising career development, better relationships. People who interview well understand how to make an impression and communicate in a way that makes an employer want to hire them. Poor communication skills can divide people and result in polarization.
If you are with a partner and you want them to lose weight because you are concerned about his or her health, expressing dissatisfaction with the way they look may only marginalize them and make them feel judged. If you instead focus on positivity such as engaging in actions to promote health, that may be more motivating. For example, you can request the other person to take a walk with you, which can have the added benefit of being a bonding experience.
Amir Levine, MD, the author of “Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and how it can help you find-and keep-Love” describes the art of effective communication using five principles. He suggest wearing your heart on your sleeve by being emotionally open, being specific by stating your needs comma using words such as want, feel, and need. He also encourages not having a blaming attitude, being assertive and non-apologetic.
One of the most important lessons to be learned with communication is when to speak up (choosing battles), when to simply walk away, when to speak up and walk away from a relationship. It is also important to know when to speak up in order to work on improving a relationship. Speaking to someone in a respectful, compassionate manner can go a long way. There is often this belief that letting anger out towards the offender will help us feel better, but often doesn’t necessarily lower our stress, as opposed to simply letting anger diffuse, or waiting a moment before reacting. Honesty and feeling empowerment is necessary for open communication in any relationship, albeit at the workplace or personally. The above concept is one that we need to evolve over time.
In such a fast world, we often lack useful feedback and transparency in our relationships. Instead, sometimes people think it’s alright to curb exhibition of manners, as if it’s alright to insult a person upon meeting. This is not useful feedback. We are seeing this happen with politicians, media personalities, etc. The belief that feelings are somehow not relevant in corporate America is a faulty notion, the simplicity of basic kindness is not a character asset, and it is being human.
Anandhi Narasimhan is a child and adult psychiatrist practicing in Los Angeles. Dr. Narasimhan works for two non-profit agencies in addition to running a private practice and has had numerous media appearances.